sometimes i wonder if im ever going to make it home again.
its so far and out of sight

Carole King

there is a book being written at another blog-
www.throughcrimsoneyes.blogspot.com

I read the first chapter and thought that although it is a bit gory it is in essence pretty good( as long as you can overlook the bad spelling and even worse grammer).
Which reminds me i haven't done any writing on my book lately. For those of you who remember it, or can get into my really really really old archive files it began with chapter one and never evolved. Well i have done a little on it, so it has changed. I have a beginning to it. It is no longer all that confusing. I thought i could write it so that it threw you straight into the story it would be more interesting however over the last month i have been blessed with seeing 2 very bad movies.

Collateral. This movie had no subplot. It was therefore extremely boring. From this experience i found that i would much rather prefer to watch a movie with a very bad storyline than one with no subplot.

The Forgotten. How ironic that i have actually forgotten (or never really remembered) most of this movie. Not only did this movie not have a subplot but it did throw you straight into the story. My first thought was, 'is this really the movie or another preview?' In short it should never have been released. Even if it was it should have been a free movie.

Anyways as a result, now rewriting my little story. Even though it has already been rewritten about 50million times!
~.~

okay for the next couple of weeks, whenever i can get on to this thingy, i will be experimenting with various new looks. I take it sayers likes the one it is set at at the moment but i thought i could try out a few different ones just to see. So if you see something new that you like drop me a line. There is a comments section at the end of every blog which means it is possible to msg me about a particular blog with a comment. When i get your msg i will get the blog you are commenting on mailed to me after your msg. if you want my email address it is in my profile or-(payal@ivebeenframed.com) i also think i have sorted out that thing which meant that when i blog after sayers my blog comes up before his.
completely unrelated though for me even more exciting is the fact that i have come 1st in 2 of my assessments this semester which means i will finish cert.4 at the top of my class in one of the 'hardest' subjects (according to the teacher) It's only hard cause it is all law stuff, but really we covered most of it in legal last year so i feel like i'm cheating sort of.
Any ways i got to get back to class and will probably get back on after to add a proper blog for today.
~.~

Is it just me or has this been a very very strange week for everyone else?

So it's not even half way through this week but I'm still going to call this week bizarre. First I was entertained by a TV show I couldn't understand because it was in French - I sat there and watched the whole thing. Second, the answers I get as I'm studying keep coming out negative what they should be. Third, people keep making strange gestures at me and, fourth, technology seems to be working for me without hassle! How strange is that?

Maybe it's just me. I think it might just be me.

wow! nice new look!

a song (palm 2)

i wrote some words in the palm of your hand
i was wrong
time to leave again
i miss your smile and the scent of your skin
i'm alone
i can't breathe again
and the ink is bleeding
running down my wrist
it's not real until i say it is
it's not happening

i was wrong to remember your lies
with your smile i could breathe again
i close my eyes when i want to see
i miss the silence
and the lights are flickering
it's not real until i say it is
it's not happening

www.onmyfrostedwindow.blogspot.com

~.~

why can't a blonde dial 911?


because she can't find the eleven.

As usual, because of the holidays I have not been able to get onto the Net in order to blog. Also during the holidays I have been informed that people do actually read it (I apologize for it always being so boring)

Anyways, I've given up on flikr. I don't that is going to work. Ever.

Ummm, heard a really funny joke this morning on the radio, so did about a million other people who listen to the same radio station as me.

Anyways, this big lawyer guy on a huge 7 figure salary buys a box of really expensive cigars. They are really expensive so he insures them for a lot of money. This policy includes all the usual things like theft, water damage and fire. Anyways after a few months this guy has managed to smoke all 24 of these really expensive cigars. So he goes to the insurance company and says he wants his money cause they were all damaged in 'a series of small fires'.

The insurance company refuses to pay him and he takes them to court with a law suit, and won! The insurance company doesn't want to waste all this money on an appeal so instead they pay him the amount of money they were ordered to.

However, because the 'series of small fires' happened to be lit by him and he admitted to doing so in his law suit, the insurance company called the police and had him charged with 24 counts of arson. This guy spent 2 years in jail as a result.
~.~!

...MY BORING LITTLE NEGLECTED BLOG...
what is flikr? well it is a fancy little foto sharing thing which is absolutely free for stingy little people like me.

Basically i go onto the flikr site and either donate my own fotos (which i can't do because of the lack of digital stuff required) or i 'borrow' other people's fotos from the various galleries. After chosing the fotos i want to use i can then post them directly onto my blog. Although being technollogically challenged like me i have yet to figure out exactly how to post a foto onto my blog. The instuctions seem really simple but when i go to follow them...it doesn't work.

ok, now that i have babble for the sake of saying that my site is not completely neglected i will do what i am supposed to be doing...my assignments. Ugh!
~.~

what is flickr?

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Congratulations to Brendon and Laura.

ok, i got no problems with the olympics i got problems with the tv

channel 7 is showing olympics from 11:30am saturday untill 6am sunday straight (and after that my tv guide runs out) with only half an hour break for news the entire time! and they don't have exclusive coverage, sbs are not quite as bad but only because they're showing a little more news. i think this might be a little too much olympics. are they (whoever they might be) trying to get everyone so excited about the olyimpics that they forget the rest of life and the world? i wonder about this everytime something big comes along like world cup or christmas. enough with the hype - if people want to get excited - excellent but what about the rest of us who have to endure having excitement thrust upon us? of course i'll watch the olympics but i'm not splattering it all over my web site, this blog, emails, putting it in every conversation, starting poster campaigns, actually i just thought of a good word for it - "cashing-in".

and at the begining i was only going to have a whinge about the tv but just kept typing. yep, there's an example on the radio.

ok this is probably getting pretty boring for the people who do get on to my blog every now and then. (though i have no idea who you are and how many of you there are) i promise that pretty soon i willtry to get more stuff up here. The problem with the past few weeks has been the fact that i have been on holidays and as most of you know i don't have the net at home and can't post from home. in addition to that having come back to tafe and been bombarded with assignments and bitchiness doesn't allow for much extra time to blog.

But on a good note i have managed to not only get 1 but 2 jobs. the first was at muffin breack winston hills (thank you amy for a great reference) and i have one at Blockbuster winston hills. I quit muffin break because of my back and love blockbuster so it all works out.

Anyways i'm supposed to be doing research for my assignments so i'd better go. But my assignment is about spiking drinks in clubs pubs and bars and other similar places so if you know a story related to this sort of stuff or know of a good place to get info or just want me to let you know more get back to me or leave a comment or whatever. I'm open to many lines of communication.

Talk to you all later.

PEZ
~.~

i HATE the olympics. I have no idea when they started but since they have they have only showed 4 rotations of the womens gymnastics and the full 5 rotations of the mens gymnastics. Why so little gymnastics??? its the only event i will willingly watch. furthermore, why are the women's beach vollyball uniforms/outfits so skimpy??? I heard on the radio this morning that the vollyball team looks really good but really i thought after atlanta the outfits couln't get much smaller. Speaking of outfits have people seen how the media is reacting to what Jana Pittman was wearing in her press conference or training session or whatever the heck it was.

I'm hearing thind like some expert from Sportsgirl thought her denim short shorts, knee high socks and flip flops would have looked 'cuter' with a little miniskirt instead and there are about 10 other 'experts' quoted in the Sydney Morning Herald. How is this relevant news? As discussed on Triple M this morning maybe she should be racing in fire engine red pumps with a mini mini skirt.

And if all this wasn't bad enough what happened to all the other shows that are usually shown on tv. I tuned into sbs yesturday to watch Eat Carpet only to find out that it had been taken over by some olympic trivia walk through history thing. GRRRRRRRRRR!

I hate the olympics even more this year than i did 4 years ago and by the time China rolls by I will hate them even more.
~.~

i can't wait to go back to uni tomorrow (and not just for the socialist alternative posters!).

i would like to have a whinge about trousers. has anyone else noticed
that everybody wears really low trousers lately and when they sit down
or bend over can produce a coin slot to rival the best plumbers. this is not a good thing it's an eww thing.

A blind man walks into a department store with his seeing eye dog on a leash. As usual the store manager behind the customer service counter looks up and notices that the man is blind and wanting not to stare quickly looks away again. Out of the corner of his eye the manager sees the blind man start swinging the dog over his head with its leash. Shocked, the manager runs over and says, 'Sir, is there a problem-is their anything I can help you with?' The blind man calmly replies 'No thanks - I'm just looking around.'
~.~

Telephone conversation goes;
'Hello, is this the police?'
'Yes it is. How can we help you?'
'I'm calling to report about my neighbour, Wazza. He's hiding cocain inside his firewood!'
'Thank you very much for your call.'

The next day, police officers descend on Wazza's house in great numbers.

They search the house and go out to the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes they bust open every piece of firewood but they find no cocaine. They swear at Wazza and leave.

The phone rings at Wazza's house.

'Hey, Wazz. Did the Cops come?
'Yeah.'
'Did they chop up your firewood?'
'Yep.'

'HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!'
~.~

Guy decides to get away from the city life...he needs a break. Goes away with the intention of staying away for 6 months.
After 3months his neighbour comes up to him one day and says i'm having a party next weekend is that ok.
Guy goes ok.
Neighbour says it will get loud.
Guy says i'll deal, i like noise
Neighbour says there'll be a bit of drinking.
Guy says i like beer.
(If you get easily offended stop reading here)
Neighbour says ummmm, there may be a bit of sex
Guy says, well i'm not a virgin that's ok.
neighbour says ok well see you next weekend then. and walks off.
Guy says, WAIT! i forgot to ask you what to wear?!
Neighbour says...
Doesn't matter it will only be the two of us!
~.~

the seven dwarves were pimps
~.~

monday: 03/05/2004
what will you go through now? After everything that you have already gone through. 'They' will force you to be a part of the one thing you despise most. The one thing in the world you felt you could not face. The one thing in the world which you felt could bring you the most pain.
How will you survive? How are you going to make it in this world? To be forced to somehow document everything in your day to day life. Note every action and every feeling. To make sure that everything from this point forward does not bring you to this point again. To ensure that those who are being paid to save your life are sucessful. To ensure they do not fail.. So they meet their quotas. They can say '...A job well done...'
But is it? Is it really? Can they really honestly say that forcing an individual to live suck\h painfully is really actually good for them? The best thing for them?
Do they really believe that you are really better off performing all trivial tasks on a day to day basis believing that they themselves are being trivialised because they really don't count?
All these professionals that are supposed to help, can they really help in all individual cases. Or is it better for you to make the choice to live of to die as you chose it?
When they say you are 'cured' are you cured or have they just hidden you? Hidden because you have been brainwashed to believe that it is not right for you to believe what you believe, let alone voice it.
What is not to say that your way of looking at the world is not right? That each individual really is alone in this world. What is not to say that no one cares if we live or die.
We are all boren with a clock and we can neither alter or stop this from occuring.We have no say in when our time is up. What is not to say that your time was up. Why are we forcing the sand in the hourglass back upwards? We could be starving you of some vital experience. We could be affecting you right down to your soul.
We could be, we are doing you more harm than good.
Why is it that only people like you can see what you are really going through. Only others who have been through the same pain that will ever understand you.
Why is it that their 'way of thought' is wrong. Why will you be brainwashed into a new way of though. The thought that life really too precious. THat the option of dying does not exist.
Why is it that you will accept this and come to the realisation that your way of thinking is wrong and immoral. THat this will lead to you inevitably spending a lifetime with your worst nightmares. But do they realise that living could actually be what your worst nightmares really are made of. Do they realise that to you the whole world might have its own personal vandetta against you.
Do any of these professionals really care about what you think? '...oh really, and how did that make you feel?..'
Do they care?! Do they really give a s*** about what you think? They know how you feel. You woulldn't be forced to go through these stupid weekly rituals if they didn't.
But are they really understanding you? Are they really getting what you are going through? Or do they only really care about conforming your thoughts? Do they only care about making society feel better? Do they ever give a s***about what you have experienced.
Society doesn't care! Society only cares about making itself feel better about all the things that have slipped out of its grasp and gone wrong.
All they really want is for everyone to be that same. The same smiling blank faces that can't think for themselves.. THey think the same, dress the same, feel the same emotions at the same 'appropriate' times.
They scorn anyone who is different. They scorn anyone who isn't like them, anyone who dares to be different.
All society wants is for these people to become a shadow child. Before this sick illness appeared they were stuck in their own world. All society wants is to conform their thoughts so that that can shrink back into being their former selves. From this point forward all they want to do is to force them to be a shadowchild. Not to change their views or find out why but to force them into being shadow children.
Maybe the shadows is all that is left. Maybe they should live in the shadows. Maybe that is all and everything that they can be. All that they are allowed to be.
Maybe society, with their deluded thoughts of conformity has forced them to die a premature death long before they are ready only to serve their own selfish Greater Purpose.
To be a part of what society feels is right. To be part of society's own deluded attempts of making their own utopia.
~.~

Just the other day I saw my first shooting star. It was about midnight and as I walked up towards the front porch, I glanced up at the stars.
There, just above the roof of the house, for one tiny split second, was a shooting star. A bright, shiny, pinprick flashed across the sky. Followed by a trail of blazing orange-white, dotted with blue.
And in that tiny half-second...i was happy.

...request denied...
Well really i would lov e to oblige but i have not really interesting stories to tell. well nothing as interesting as Dave walking in to class bare foot and cussing all over the place.
As a post script to the micheles patisserie job. I would love to say that i am having fun but unfortunately, i can't. This is because i haven't been asked to work yet. I call the manager about 3 times a week asking for work to no avail, it is really frustrating....
This keyboard is p***ing me off so i'll write more later when i can find a better computor.
~.~

The people want to hear TAFE stories! (Well I do anyway).

guess what guess what guess what!!!
I got the job that i was going for at michel's patisserie. It may not be exactly what i wanted but i'm determined to stick it out. (unless i get fired again funona)
~.~

Apologies to any one who takes offence, but oscar gave me this saying on a bad day and it made me smile...
'Computors are nothing new, Eve had an apple.'
Oscar also gave me some other sayings that are amusing...
'If you think life is a joke, consider the punchline.'
'When you think life stinks, you need to have a whiff of someone else's'
'Time is a great healer and a terrible beautician.'
'I felt many a time when i wanted to have a bath with my toaster.'
'Bad is never good until worse happens.'
And my favourite of Oscar's sayings;
'Great minds discuss ideas. Small minds discuss people.'
Talk to you all soon. Alos anybody who wants to be able to comment on this blog get in touch with me.
~.~

p.s. sorry sayers

are you lucky? coming soon
Screams Of Silence also coming soon.
btw, screw everybody coz i'm gonna be myself weather u like it or not. and if u don't f*** off!!!!!

The word 'ugly' is derived from the Neanderthal word 'ugg' which, literally translated meant everything. It was the only word so therefore it meant 'ugly' as well.

okay, so i started tafe on monday and the only major complaint that i have is the stupid orientation day booklet that was compulsory to fill out 'in groups so that you can get to know everyone'. That and the fact that i seem to be walking around with a big 'i'm new' sign pasted to my forehead or something. or so it seems. The advantages, well there are many. I walked into my 'Specialist Communication Skills' class today and Dave, my teacher, decided that in todays class we should make paper aeroplanes. The person who can get their plane to fly across to the other side of the room gets a Mars Bar. In addition to that we should play getting to know you games. After which we can all act out in a 3 minute speech/skit/play/whatever why 'Poverty Sux', guess who was the drunkard evicted drug addict 50 yr old man! I have to admit it was fun.
I do have to do 40 hours of volunteer service by the end of this semester though otherwise i fail, so if any one knows of any organisations that are looking for volunteers let me know.

I'll do it, just so I can read it. But you may also want to find someone who actualy knows what they're talking about when it comes to words too.

the story is being written. i am just waiting for someone to proof read it. If you would like to volunteer go ahead, it may need all the help it can get.

I am having a bit of a mind block with thinking of stuff to stick up on this site so i will go back to writing that pointless story that i started a while ago. Before i do this though i do need to ask that people get back to as to whether or not my archive files work. If they don't then i'll re-post the first part of the story, if they do then i can just go on from where i ended.
Anyways i'll probably talk to you people on the 8th. If you don't know what is happening on the 8th, talk to meagan.
see you.