DISCLAIMER: Ok, so i've just looked back at the type of things I've written recently and they seem largely negetive so i do regret this post...but it is how i feel. I do promise that there were plenty of great days between these crap ones but its the crap that are standing out at the moment.
Hmm, where to start. It would appear that I have had another crap day. I dont know why really...I woke up really excited about my day...but nothing seemed to go and by about 12 i was in a pretty foul mood which really only serves to make everything seem worse than it actually is.
It wasnt really anything specific...well maybe it was. I noticed it was sunny today. I like the rain so i wasnt happy about that first up. I guess today I was just over thinking. There's so much I want to say and I know it would make things so much easier for myself and other people. In the sense that people would be able to understand why some of the simplest things can sometimes make me uncomfortable beyond belief.
I had a fight with a co-worker. Never a good thing after which I actually had a cry. I maintain that I was born with out tear-ducts so this was a feat in itself.
I have to make UAC decisions for the 4th year in a row. You can imagine how stressful this was and it doesnt get any easier with experience.
Huge money issues going on at the moment. Feel like my life should not revolve around money...but it does and that frustrates me to no end.
People around me are having a hard time and I dont feel like its fair that I voice myopinions on these sorts of trivial things. Which I guess just puts more pressure on me. I want to help them more than I want to help myself. I guess thats my own fault.
mehmehmeh
~.~
I try not to be shallow, I try not to be naiive, I try not to be offensive or mean. I try to not be judgemental and I try not to try.I try but this is all that came out...
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2 comments:
the bad things: day to day are the only things worth blogging about. the good things are just part of ordinary life. i always want to post bad things so i fill up the gaps in between to make it not look so bad.
the wet things: yeah, i love the rain too - except when i have to be in it but only then because it's usually cold and i'm going to be uncomfortable whenever i get to whereever it is i'm going and that makes me miserable. but no the rain itself. jon and i were wondering the other day why they didn't build a dam where it rains instead of where it is at the moment. across the heads would be a great locaion.
the shiny things: don't worry - you're not the only one. we're at that dodgy stage where we really are becoming poor uni students when everything costs money we're not earning - well at least i'm not. since my uni timetable stops me from working most of the week every other moment is spent trying to get money. and on top of that i want to move out and buy a car too (and start a new railway which is just as expensive - though much more interesting and sattisfying). you're right - your life shouldn't revolve around money but when that's what you need, somedays it does.
the hard things: fair? your biggest issue is still your biggest issue. irrelevent of how it compares to anyone else. you should not help others to the complete detriment to yourself since then you require help yourself. coming down out of proverb land for a moment - if you want to help people then do it. don't fuss over the details or bother comparing yourself. life is to curvy for that.
i love you
i think we should go and get some ice cream or something else that you wanna eat (cos eating is great when you're down - you feel empty inside, so you fill the emptiness with food! ... it works in theory) and i'll hug you and tell you everything will be alreight (although it won't be, but who cares, it's still comforting) and then... everything will be alright!
*hugs*
for a little while.
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